That tingle

Not the good kind either. I'm talking about that tingle in your nose and that burning in your eyes that happens before you cry. I've had that all day. I just want to cry but I refuse to do it alone. I went to the house for the last time today and it was a lot more emotional than I thought it would be. There was a LOT that I wanted that I didn't get to take. What hurt the most was when I saw our bed. We got that bed when my oldest was a newborn. The rest of our children were conceived in that bed. I brought babies home to that bed. Something about it just makes me sad. I was supposed to have a happily ever after damnit! It wasn't supposed to end this way. There is a part of myself that I will never recover from this wreckage. It's amazing how one minute you think you want something and the next minute you don't want it anymore.