A different him this time

So he thinks he's so generous. He feels so proud of himself, "like a giant" because he is helping strangers. WHAT ABOUT HIS CHILDREN?!?! It's great that he gives strangers rides in bad neighborhoods and gives strangers money but why has he not paid a drop of child support? He can afford to drop a tank of gas on a late night drive but he can't give money so his kids have what they need? He buys school supplies but doesn't bother to look at the list and buys mostly unusable junk, leaving me to return / replace it. If you split the money my family has until next month it would leave us each with $1. I'm not even lying about that. We have $4 to survive for the next week. That doesn't bother me as much as it sounds like it does. We'll make it. What bothers me the most is that he just doesn't care about his kids. He's fighting for shared custody and yet he can't call to ask about them? He can't send a text message? He can't message me online or email? It isn't like there is no way to contact us, in reality we are very easy to reach. Then I ask him if he wants to see the boys tonight. Of course it was because I wanted to go to church. I guess the thought of "helping" me that scares him away from seeing the kids because he told me he had plans at 7. Thats all well and good but then I see blog posts from him at 7:12. I guess his big plans were going to BK to use the internet. He chose stupid technology over his kids... again. It really shouldn't surprise me I guess but it still hurts. The absolute worst part is that I was stupid enough to mention seeing him to the kids. I should know from my own childhood to just stay quiet until its actually happening but I failed. Now I know how my mom must have felt. It sucks. Bad.